And I am down to 5 months. I am almost half way there.
Almost. It’s weird to say that I only have 8 months left in Bolivia, and it’s
even weirder to say that I will be leaving this place in October. When ever I
tell my kids and the people here of Okinawa that I am leaving in October, they
all say, “Noooo, but why?” or “Really, so soon?” “Why are you with us for such
a short time?” when for me, October feels so far away, lol, maybe it’s because
I miss home. There are times when October does feel far but then there are
times when it feels close. It’s really hard to explain to others, I think it’s
something only the other SLMs and I will only really understand.
This month I got to experience what it’s like to teach in a
classroom. In casa you didn’t read my last blog, I am teaching English to
Kindergarten, 2nd, 4th and 5th grade. The kids
are great, but so energetic, it’s really hard to keep order in a Bolivian
classroom. Children here are so different. They really don’t understand that
they have to remain seated, remain silent while the teacher is teaching, and
raise their hand whenever they need anything. They are always doing the exact
opposite and I have to constantly remind them to stay quiet, stay seated and
raise their hand. It’s quite a challenge. My most challenging class is the
Kindergarteners. Oh my word, are those children insane, but they are the cutest
kids you’ll ever meet. It’s really difficult to get them quiet, seated (because
they are always running around the classroom, or outside thinking that’s it’s
recess time), or asking them to raise their hand, they all end up raising their
hand, together. Lol. But I will always love it when I enter their classroom,
and they all (all 30 of them) run up to me and hug me, TOGETHER! Everytime! And
usually (which is all the time) I can’t move, or they seriously will probably
knock me down someday. It hasn’t happened yet, but I feel it might someday…lol.
It’s something you don’t get to see everyday in the states, or get to experience
everyday. And I can’t get enough of them calling my “Profe Teacher Lore.” They
call me that all the time. I’m like, wow, that’s a lot of names. Haha. It’s
fun.
Besides having my first teaching experience this month, I
got to see what Bolivians do here for Carnival. It’s for four days, before Ash
Wednesday, and people go outside and get each other wet, throw paint at one
another, or mud. I will be honest that I decided to stay inside because the mud
here in Okinawa is so gross. Besides dirt and water, who knows what else is in
that mud. Call me a wimp, and I’m sure my fellow Camp St. Francis counselors would
probably be disappointed with me because we do something similar every Crazy
Wednesday, except with water and flour, and here, I didn’t want to catch
anything or get bitten by something. You just never know here. Anyhow, I did
see a lot of people covered in mud, and Steph and Marcos weren’t so lucky and
ended up being attacked by some kids. Glad I wasn’t with them ^_^!
Recently this past month, I received a visit from Fr. Tom
Juarez, SDB. It was great seeing a familiar face from back home. It’s like a
little piece of home was brought over. The sisters were so happy with his
presence and so were the other SLM’s and the kids and teens loved him. =) I
knew everybody would. Fr. Tom just has a great personality that just makes him
lovable. It was great having him here with us. I was sad seeing him head home,
partially because I wanted him to stay, and because I wanted him to take me
with him…lol. But I know I can’t go home just yet.
I want to be honest with you all. I am almost halfway there,
I say almost because it’s been 5 months since I’ve been here and not 6. At the SLM
orientation back in August, they told us, there would come a time when you felt
like you just had enough of your year in mission. When you say to yourself,
“Ok, this was nice and all, but is it time to go home yet?” or “I’m over it.” Every
month is different. This month, I’ve had a couple of instances when I’ve woken
up and just wished it was October already. I want to honestly let you know,
that I am coming to that point in this journey and I want to ask you to please
pray for me. Pray for me to get over this hump and finish my mission until the
very end. Know that, I am not having any plans on heading back home anytime soon.
I want to finish my year and I know I will, but there are just some days when
you’ve had enough and just want to curl up and stay in bed or curl up and cry
because everything becomes so overwhelming (and let me tell you, we still have
more work ahead of us these next couple of weeks), or you just miss home (and
everybody in it, like my mom, Michael, my family, all of my friends, my dog, my
house, my bed with out a net, not having to worry about having insects crawling
on your bed while sleeping and so much more) so DARN much! I have a fear. I
sometimes fear that everyone I love back home will just get so use to being
without me and that they won’t miss me, or need me anymore when I get back.
Which I know it sounds ridiculous, but I’m just trying to express what we
(SLM’s) feel sometimes while on mission. This is really hard, and I know no
one, (except those who have been on mission for a long period of time) will
ever understand. But please know one thing, even though I feel this way, know
that, I do not regret this experience one bit. Know that this is benefiting me
for the rest of my life. Know that I am definitely becoming a better person for
it, because this is supposed to be hard and I am actually happy that IT IS
HARD! I want to be able to get back home at the end of the year and look at
myself in the mirror and say, “I’m proud of you, because you actually achieved
what you set out to do. I’m proud of you because you made this decision and
never regretted it. I’m proud of you because you’ve touched so many lives, but
they’ve also touched yours so profoundly. I’m proud of you because you got
through the hardships and have learned from them. I’m proud of you because
you’ve become a better woman and a better Christian. I’m proud of what you’ve
done and of what you’ve become. Lorena I AM PROUD OF YOU!”
God is always with me…and I know with Him, I will not
falter.
Peace,
Lorena
PS. I want to try something new for my next blog. I saw this
done by another SLM, Tom Kelly, who is South Sudan, and Tom, if you are reading
this, I hope you don’t mind me stealing you idea =). I want to give you, the
reader, a chance to ask me any question you like. Anything having to do with my
mission here in Bolivia, for example: “What is the weirdest thing I’ve seen?”
“Weirdest thing I’ve eaten?” or some more serious questions, and I will answer
them honestly. You can send them to me at: lorena.zamora21@gmail.com or FB me.
=) Thanks and God Bless.
