Letting God Do His ‘Thing’

I apologize for not writing the last couple months and I know I said for my 6^th month anniversary, I was going to answer any questions you guys sent me through my email or Facebook but unfortunately I only received two. I was hoping for more, hence this is one of the reasons why I didn’t write for the past months but there is still time to send me questions. When I receive enough I will answer them but for now, I will just keep writing my blogs just as I was before.

Ok…I want to be HONEST with you all, so here goes…These last couple of months have been very challenging for me, this is also the reason why I stopped writing my blog for a bit. In all honesty, I just wasn’t in the mood to write. I didn’t feel like there was anything good to share even though there was. I’ve been going through a roller coaster of emotions and events. I won’t go into detail, because I don’t think it’s right if I do, but let’s just say that I’ve been struggling with letting God take control of everything that is happening in my life, here and back home. It’s like I am fine with letting God do His thing but then sometimes, I’m like, woah woah woah, what just happened here? This wasn’t supposed to happen God? Especially when it hurts emotionally. Things that I never expected to happen or wanted to happen for that matter, happened. And what I dislike the most is that there is nothing that I can do about it, not anymore at least, just let it be, and let time heal everything. I’ll be honest and say, that the waiting part is the most difficult, I just want the pain to go away and fast but the reality is, is that it can’t and it won’t, so I’m stuck with dealing with myself right now. But besides all this I know that in the end, everything is going to be alright, because it always is and I will be a stronger, wiser and better person that has overcome a great challenge. This is the hardest lesson and test God has given me thus far and I want you all to know that I am grateful for it. And I’m letting God do His ‘thing’…lol.

Well, enough of that, it’s not all bad, just know that missionary work is not all rainbows and unicorns…haha… and it’s not suppose to be, right? All in all, I am still so glad and happy to be here in Bolivia. For the first time in my life, I am so sure about something, and that is that I’ve made the right decision on coming here, no matter how hard it’s been, no matter how many times I’ve wanted to give up, no matter the sacrifices I’ve had to make and no matter the blood, sweat and tears I’ve shed (…and I mean this in the literal sense…). I know God wants me here right now, and I’m going to try my very best to make these last few months the best ever!

So much has happened here. In March we celebrated Steph’s birthday! We made her cake and celebrated her day at the sisters’ house with dinner. She really enjoyed it; I think her favorite part was when all the kids sang her Happy Birthday! Also, Adam Rudin, our program director, came to visit us. It was really great seeing him again! In March we also got to experience Holy Week. We had adoration and did the Stations of the Cross out in Okinawa’s only paved road. It was pretty neat but our Easter Vigil mass was my favorite. I will never forget all those candles being lit up and how beautiful the church looked. It was wonderful.

In April, we were asked by Sor Ely (she is the high school principal) if we could join her and the senior class of San Francisco Xavier for mission week. Mission week, consisted of splitting up into three groups and travelling about 3 to 4 hours to get to three, very rural little communities. I was in the first group alongside Judy and a professor from the high school. We were in charge of 14 students. The teens had to work at the school with the kids of the community. They played games with them, sang songs and taught them in the classroom. It was a great experience for the senior class. They learned to give back and make a difference. I had a great time with them but it wasn’t easy. There were no beds so we slept on the floor and the amount of mosquitos was unbearable. The most interesting part of this whole experience was bathing in an outhouse (which smelled really, really bad). There were no showers, so the only thing we had was a white bucket, which we filled up with cold water, (that’s all there is) took it into the outhouse for privacy and used a bowl to scoop up the water. Boy, was that an experience. I will never forget that, and also the fact that we almost didn’t make it back home. There was a huge storm and all that rain caused the roads (dirt roads) to become slippery and dangerous. So it took us 9 hours to go back home instead of 4. Luckily we got home safely.

We recently finished our first trimester here in school. OMG! Was that something? I now have complete respect for all my teachers and for any one who is a teacher right now. GRADES ARE A PAIN IN THE…you know what! And I don’t know if Bolivia makes it that much harder…lol. Finding out how we were supposed to do grades was like pulling teeth… every teacher was telling us something different. They grade out of 70 here…idk why but that’s just how it is…but getting them to tell us exactly how they wanted them was just confusing…I mean even our principal didn’t exactly know, the only thing she cared about was if the font size and font type was the same…WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! You can careless about the content and the grades, but when the font and the outline is not exactly the way you want it, it has to be redone?! Oh lord…(Culture Clash Alert: this is somewhat of how Bolivian culture is…there are so many other things that really confuse me though, and I don’t think I’ll ever understand but I’ve just learned to accept them, can’t do anything else). Anyway…we got them done, one way or another…and we are really glad that’s over with. Now we know what to expect next time.

These last couple of months I also got to experience…LICE! The most uncomfortable experience EVER! (How I got them…we will never know…I just know that I have to be careful whenever the kids hug me. =/) It’s already bad enough having to deal with the lice on my head and that extreme itchiness that is just unbearable but the thought of being contagious was not fun. This was when I really missed my washing machine and dryer =(. I had to wash EVERYTHING by hand! Also, to get rid of lice you have to wash with hot water. In Bolivia only cold water comes out of the faucet, no hot water like back home. So I had to boil the water every time. Washing took FOREVER! Also it took me about a week to get rid of the lice on my head. I truly appreciate having site partners. Poor Judy and Steph had to check my head for nits twice a day; I know it wasn’t fun for them. I felt like a child. Luckily, they didn’t get any lice, and I hope they don’t either. I am now paranoid with any little itch on my head. I no longer use my hairbrush, instead I use a lice comb everyday. I don’t want to go through that again.

Recently I’ve been thinking about how physically uncomfortable it is to be here. I mean, we deal with mosquitos every single day (I get bitten everyday), then there is lice (not fun), two days ago I found a tick on my ankle (luckily I caught it before it bit me…at least, I think it didn’t bite me…I can’t tell the difference between bites anymore, I always just assume it’s a mosquito…maybe I should start being more aware…heh…), then there’s amoebas in your stomach (which …I should probably get checked again, my stomach hasn’t been feeling peachy lately…). I recently found out there is this really, really tiny insect that falls from the trees and bites you (don’t worry, these aren’t dangerous), I caught a bunch of them on me while I was outside looking for nits on my head. I kept feeling bites, and I thought it was probably mosquitos but whenever I looked at where I felt the bite, nothing was there, until I looked closer. The thought of having insects that tiny biting my skin makes me reeeeally uncomfortable. Sometimes I wonder what else is out there that we don’t know about…eeeeek.

(Oh…and we recently saw a tarantula in our yard…a BIG one! …We ran! Life in Bolivia is never dull…we joke around saying that our life here would make a really good sitcom…)

Besides all that…I still like it here =)

In May, I got to celebrate my birthday! It was so wonderful! The kids at Colegio San Francisco Xavier are amazing. The whole school sang Happy Birthday and I was given a rosary, which was perfect for the month of Mary! I got hugs left and right! =) My site partners made me enchiladas (They were amazing!) and gave me my own Bolivian version of a TIGGER! =) The sisters made me a cake and sang Happy Birthday as well, and gave me a cute Bolivian wallet! I had a great birthday, it was simple, but perfect. I felt the love pouring left and right! As you all know, this month is also Mary’s month and so the little town of Okinawa prays the rosary everyday at 5:15am. Different groups lead the rosary on different days, and we’ve led it a couple of times already. Luckily there’s only been one time where we had to wake up at 4:30am and put some megaphones on the truck and drive around Okinawa waking up people to come to the rosary. Other groups do this every morning. Even though the hard part is waking up, I love participating in it once I’m there. We walk from one end of the road and from there we head to church while praying the rosary and carrying our Blessed Mother. It’s really neat. Right now, the whole school is preparing for the big day, May 24^th. I can’t wait to see what surprises are in store that day =).

Well…that’s that. I know it’s long…but I just had a lot to say. Tomorrow I will be here 8 months, which means, I only have 4 months left. =( I’m going to make the most of it. I am excited for the next upcoming months especially because I’m going to Brazil in July for WYD! WOOT! Two firsts, I’ve never been to Brazil and this will be my first time going to WYD! I’m so excited! And I’m going to see our new Pope! Pope Francis! I feel so blessed!

Being here can be difficult at times, but there are so many times when each day is a blessing! I’ve learned to be thankful for what I do have rather than complain about what I don’t have (Or about what’s crawling on me…lol). I am also learning to be patient with God. Most of the time I don’t understand His plan but I’m teaching myself to just go with the flow. (let me tell ya…it’s not easy…) All I know is that every challenge I’m going through right now, I am learning from it…and I think that’s how God wants it to be.

Praying for you all.

God bless,

Lorena

Almost Half-Way…almost. February Blog

And I am down to 5 months. I am almost half way there. Almost. It’s weird to say that I only have 8 months left in Bolivia, and it’s even weirder to say that I will be leaving this place in October. When ever I tell my kids and the people here of Okinawa that I am leaving in October, they all say, “Noooo, but why?” or “Really, so soon?” “Why are you with us for such a short time?” when for me, October feels so far away, lol, maybe it’s because I miss home. There are times when October does feel far but then there are times when it feels close. It’s really hard to explain to others, I think it’s something only the other SLMs and I will only really understand.

This month I got to experience what it’s like to teach in a classroom. In casa you didn’t read my last blog, I am teaching English to Kindergarten, 2^nd, 4^th and 5^th grade. The kids are great, but so energetic, it’s really hard to keep order in a Bolivian classroom. Children here are so different. They really don’t understand that they have to remain seated, remain silent while the teacher is teaching, and raise their hand whenever they need anything. They are always doing the exact opposite and I have to constantly remind them to stay quiet, stay seated and raise their hand. It’s quite a challenge. My most challenging class is the Kindergarteners. Oh my word, are those children insane, but they are the cutest kids you’ll ever meet. It’s really difficult to get them quiet, seated (because they are always running around the classroom, or outside thinking that’s it’s recess time), or asking them to raise their hand, they all end up raising their hand, together. Lol. But I will always love it when I enter their classroom, and they all (all 30 of them) run up to me and hug me, TOGETHER! Everytime! And usually (which is all the time) I can’t move, or they seriously will probably knock me down someday. It hasn’t happened yet, but I feel it might someday…lol. It’s something you don’t get to see everyday in the states, or get to experience everyday. And I can’t get enough of them calling my “Profe Teacher Lore.” They call me that all the time. I’m like, wow, that’s a lot of names. Haha. It’s fun.

Besides having my first teaching experience this month, I got to see what Bolivians do here for Carnival. It’s for four days, before Ash Wednesday, and people go outside and get each other wet, throw paint at one another, or mud. I will be honest that I decided to stay inside because the mud here in Okinawa is so gross. Besides dirt and water, who knows what else is in that mud. Call me a wimp, and I’m sure my fellow Camp St. Francis counselors would probably be disappointed with me because we do something similar every Crazy Wednesday, except with water and flour, and here, I didn’t want to catch anything or get bitten by something. You just never know here. Anyhow, I did see a lot of people covered in mud, and Steph and Marcos weren’t so lucky and ended up being attacked by some kids. Glad I wasn’t with them ^_^!

Recently this past month, I received a visit from Fr. Tom Juarez, SDB. It was great seeing a familiar face from back home. It’s like a little piece of home was brought over. The sisters were so happy with his presence and so were the other SLM’s and the kids and teens loved him. =) I knew everybody would. Fr. Tom just has a great personality that just makes him lovable. It was great having him here with us. I was sad seeing him head home, partially because I wanted him to stay, and because I wanted him to take me with him…lol. But I know I can’t go home just yet.

I want to be honest with you all. I am almost halfway there, I say almost because it’s been 5 months since I’ve been here and not 6. At the SLM orientation back in August, they told us, there would come a time when you felt like you just had enough of your year in mission. When you say to yourself, “Ok, this was nice and all, but is it time to go home yet?” or “I’m over it.” Every month is different. This month, I’ve had a couple of instances when I’ve woken up and just wished it was October already. I want to honestly let you know, that I am coming to that point in this journey and I want to ask you to please pray for me. Pray for me to get over this hump and finish my mission until the very end. Know that, I am not having any plans on heading back home anytime soon. I want to finish my year and I know I will, but there are just some days when you’ve had enough and just want to curl up and stay in bed or curl up and cry because everything becomes so overwhelming (and let me tell you, we still have more work ahead of us these next couple of weeks), or you just miss home (and everybody in it, like my mom, Michael, my family, all of my friends, my dog, my house, my bed with out a net, not having to worry about having insects crawling on your bed while sleeping and so much more) so DARN much! I have a fear. I sometimes fear that everyone I love back home will just get so use to being without me and that they won’t miss me, or need me anymore when I get back. Which I know it sounds ridiculous, but I’m just trying to express what we (SLM’s) feel sometimes while on mission. This is really hard, and I know no one, (except those who have been on mission for a long period of time) will ever understand. But please know one thing, even though I feel this way, know that, I do not regret this experience one bit. Know that this is benefiting me for the rest of my life. Know that I am definitely becoming a better person for it, because this is supposed to be hard and I am actually happy that IT IS HARD! I want to be able to get back home at the end of the year and look at myself in the mirror and say, “I’m proud of you, because you actually achieved what you set out to do. I’m proud of you because you made this decision and never regretted it. I’m proud of you because you’ve touched so many lives, but they’ve also touched yours so profoundly. I’m proud of you because you got through the hardships and have learned from them. I’m proud of you because you’ve become a better woman and a better Christian. I’m proud of what you’ve done and of what you’ve become. Lorena I AM PROUD OF YOU!”

God is always with me…and I know with Him, I will not falter.

Peace,

Lorena

PS. I want to try something new for my next blog. I saw this done by another SLM, Tom Kelly, who is South Sudan, and Tom, if you are reading this, I hope you don’t mind me stealing you idea =). I want to give you, the reader, a chance to ask me any question you like. Anything having to do with my mission here in Bolivia, for example: “What is the weirdest thing I’ve seen?” “Weirdest thing I’ve eaten?” or some more serious questions, and I will answer them honestly. You can send them to me at: lorena.zamora21@gmail.com or FB me. =) Thanks and God Bless. 

Backpacking Around Bolivia

I now have only 9 months left here in Bolivia; I’ve been here 4 months already. A lot of people tell me; “wow it feels like you’ve been gone forever, almost for the whole year” well it’s not the whole year just yet, guys and gals, but it sure does feel like it’s been going really fast for me. In the beginning I must admit, I was kind of skeptical if I would survive the whole year and I was having trouble adjusting, but now I can’t see myself anywhere else but here. There is no way I can leave home just yet.  Right now we are preparing for the new school year. We start our classes on Monday, Feb. 4^th, 2013. As Salesian Lay Missioners we teach English to the elementary school students at Colegio San Francisco Xavier. I will be teaching for grades K, 2^nd, 4^th, and 5^th. I will admit that I am a bit nervous being that I’ve never taught a class in my life. I mean, I’ve done retreats but being a teacher and a retreat facilitator our completely two different things. I will agree that both are educators, and that’s what I know how to do. I am also excited to finally have my own kids because when I was at the retreat center where I worked before coming to Bolivia, I would only get to know the group of kids for just one day and sometimes you can’t really have a relationship as much as when you have your own group of students. So I am both excited and nervous.

This past month, Marcos, Stephanie, Vivian (she is another SLM from Montero, which is 45 minutes away from Okinawa) and I travelled around Bolivia. We got to see so many different things, and some were pretty amazing. First of all, I will say that travelling around Bolivia requires, courage, patience, energy and lots of faith in God that you will get to your destination safely. It really is something else. You ride big charter buses, that here in Bolivia they call “flotas” and some of them look somewhat legit (hence the ‘somewhat’) and others, well, not so much.

For our first trip we headed out to the beautiful white city of Sucre to meet Judy. Judy is one my site partners here in Okinawa. She had gone to Sucre to take Spanish courses so that she can improve her language skills. She was there for about 5 weeks. Heading to Sucre was an adventure. We went to the bus terminal in Santa Cruz to find bus tickets from Santa Cruz to Cochabamba (we decided to take the long way because heading straight to Sucre is rather treacherous, which we later found out for ourselves). We couldn’t find any tickets what so ever from Santa Cruz to Cochabamba, so we tried Santa Cruz to Sucre, but no luck as well. We ended up taking a Trufi car from Santa Cruz to Yapacani ( a city in the department of Santa Cruz) from there we found tickets to Cochabamba. Most all buses here in Bolivia travel at night. We got to Cochabamba at around 4:00am and the bus station didn’t open until 5:30am, so we had to wait on the bus until it opened. Once the doors were opened we raced inside to find tickets to Sucre, but again no luck, so we had to buy tickets for a bus to Oruro, about 4 hours away. When we arrived to Oruro, we stopped to eat some breakfast because for one, we were starving, and two, the height was affecting us (especially Steph and I, she got a headache and I was having trouble breathing). We were having trouble (again) finding tickets to Sucre; finally we got lucky and found some at around 11am. The bus line was one that we did not know so we took a chance. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a very good choice, the bus kept breaking down every couple of miles and the driver kept on stopping for gas. It took twice as long to get to Sucre than it should. We were joking around saying we were going to kiss the ground once we arrived to Sucre.  We finally arrived and stayed in the house Judy was staying at. The family that owned the house was the sweetest family I’ve ever met so far in Bolivia. You could tell they were a type of middle class family; they had a beautiful home, 3 stories high, with a beautiful view of Sucre’s hills and they fed us breakfast and lunch everyday, it was great!

Sucre is such a gorgeous city!!! I absolutely fell in love with it! It was one of my favorite places in Bolivia. While in the city we went to a castle that was owned by a Bolivian prince and a Bolivian princess, they were made royalty by the pope because they adopted 50 orphans from the local areas around Bolivia. The castle was pretty neat. My favorite though was when we went to a restaurant called “Origenes” (Origins), we had dinner there and the best part is that they also have dancers that dance Bolivian folklore, OMG, it was so gorgeous!!! Bolivian ‘danza’ (dance) is so beautiful! So much culture and tradition! It’s an experience I won’t forget! Now, travelling back home from Sucre to Santa Cruz was interesting. Steph and I had an appointment to get our ‘carnets’ (identification card, the absolute last step of our Visa process) in Santa Cruz so we had to head back as soon as possible.  At this point, we didn’t want to risk what happened to us heading to Sucre, so we had to take the treacherous rode from Sucre to Santa Cruz. It was mostly all cliff, one lane and worst off; it was not paved so it was a very bumpy ride. I did not enjoy that ride back home one bit; I was praying the whole time. Luckily, we did arrive safely to Santa Cruz at around 5:00am.

We stayed in Santa Cruz for about two days before travelling around some more. Sor Nora invited us to go the Yungas (where she is from) in La Paz. We had to first get a bus to Cochabamba again and then from there to La Paz. From La Paz, we took a little van to the Yungas to a little town called Yanacachi. The rode was even sketchier than the rode from Sucre to Santa Cruz and much higher. I saw my life flash before my eyes. Oh man! It’s nothing like I’ve ever seen before. While driving up there, besides being dangerous, it was such a beautiful place and sight to see. It was like driving up to the clouds. The mountains are so high up you can almost touch the clouds. And there are little waterfalls everywhere you look. They all lead down a huge beautiful river but besides its beauty, I did see a car and a bus that you could tell had fallen off the cliff we were taking. SCARY! That seriously made me even more nervous. I couldn’t see down after that.

Young man playing some beautiful Bolivian tunes and with his Tinku outfit...I wanted to steal the outfit. 

In the Isla del Sol

Salar de Uyuni, my favorite

The Yungas...that's me.

Heading back home to Santa Cruz from Uyuni was an adventure. We really got to see what people go through here when they travel. It can be very frustrating and it can make you really annoyed. We bought a ticket from Uyuni to Oruro so that from there we can take a bus to Cochabamba and from there straight to Santa Cruz (it is a long trip any way, even without the annoyance that we went through). Our bus was scheduled to leave Uyuni at around 10pm. We arrived to the bus station and the lady who works there told us that the ride had been cancelled because the bus had broken down. We were stuck for another night in Uyuni, and we had just checked out of our hotel and by that time it was going to be hard to find a hostel or a hotel to stay at. There was another option, taking the train to Uyuni, but we didn’t know at the time how lucky we would get to find tickets. We had to wait until midnight to even buy tickets and the train left at 1am. Eventually, we were able to find tickets and we headed to Oruro on a train. It was pretty neat, but the seats were so uncomfortable and it was freezing in there (Note: Uyuni is colder than Santa Cruz, most other departments have a much cooler climate than Santa Cruz. Santa Cruz is just drastically hot!). We finally arrived to Oruro. We took a taxi to the bus station. Once we got there we began looking for tickets to Cochabamba. We found tickets, but unfortunately (again) when it was time for us to leave, the bus was cancelled because there was a “bloqueo” (blockade, Bolivia is famous for these, it’s usually the peoples way of protesting, and these happen all the time. They can last for hours and hours, sometimes days, they can be really annoying when you’re travelling.) Now we had to figure out a different way to get to Cochabamba, we ended up taking a Trufi over, which can be a bit more dangerous. Thieves can easily stop the Trufi and steal from us and it was much more expensive because the driver goes around the blockade. In the end, when we arrived to Cochabamba, we did find tickets to Santa Cruz, and finally got home.

At the end of the month, we headed back to Cochabamba, this time, not to pass through but to actually stay. All the SLMs, that are in Bolivia (mostly girls, and just Marcos) had a retreat in Cochabamba in the orphanage that some of the SLMs work at. It was so good to be altogether again, and especially on retreat. We prepared our own talks, activities and meals. It was so spiritually fulfilling. I loved seeing everyone, and it just was a good way to reflect on why I decided to become a missionary.

After that, it was nice to get back to Okinawa (I was beginning to miss the place, not the climate though, just the people). The people around here said they missed us, and to be honest, I missed them too, especially the kids. I love walking around here and everyone wishes you hello, and the kids run up to you and hug you. It’s the little things like that, that really make my day and my work so much easier. Those kids have no idea how much they really affect me in a positive way and I hope I am affecting them too. I have fallen in love with these kids so much =). (They warned me that was going to happen =)).

Even though I’ve never taught a class in my life, I know I have one talent, and that is to love and care for these kids. I want to have a positive impact in their lives, and loving them like Don Bosco loved his boys, is the way to go. Only because they are young…=)

I love you all back home, and I miss you dearly. I will continue to pray for you all while on my journey. Take care and God bless.

Lorena

P.S. If you would like to send me anything, like letters and/or packages (this would make me smile) you can send them to:

                                               

                                                Atte: Lorena Zamora, Voluntaria

                                                Hogar Sagrado Corazon

                                                Casilla #4

                                                Montero, Santa Cruz, Bolivia

                                                South America

If they are packages, wrap them up really well with duct tape!!